Jan 7: Hubby and I were talking about how cold it is and will get. I appreciate cuddling under covers together. :-)
Jan 8: Have to pull a rabbit out of a hat for this daily smile. Hubby slept ALL day and only woke long enough to eat supper and go back to sleep. Happy that hubby had a restful and calm day. :-)
Lewy Body has this very mean way of fluctuating.
Jan 9: The last few days, except one, have been very trying here as Hubby has been "busy" going through ever shred of paper and drawer and clothing item and dish and photo (of course never putting back) in this house.
I THINK he is looking for anything he recognizes.
When asked what he'slooking for he just says looking.
His turn around in cognition has me whirling.
Last night if I didn't know there was a problem with Hubby I would never suspect one, other than the occasional brain farts we all get.
Hubby is convinced that there is nothing wrong with him and that he should be able to come and go as he pleases.
Our BIGGEST hurdle is driving. He hasn't driven in 2 yrs and as of today his car has a flat so it isn't operational and I will NOT help him repair it. That makes me the horrible mean hateful (w)itch that takes care of him only to steal his money! According to him I have him on a short rope and am trying to keep him chained at this house! I told him I would drive him all over the country if he wanted but he could and should not drive. I reminded him that I have asked numerous times for some of his friends to come and get him and take him out for the day or coffee. He agreed I had done that but nobody has ever come :-(
The Neurologist said at Hubby's last visit that was the best he had ever seen Hubby in a long time. Hubby took that as a getting better. Asked about driving the Dr said he didn't believe Hubby could get his license renewed. Hubby ignored that.
I told Hubby that with a diagnosis of dementia I did not believe that legally he would be able to drive.
He said I would not be able to find a lawyer to declare him incompetent and I told him I didn't need a lawyer, just his medical records and a judge if he thought we needed to push the issue to keep him and others safe. Although I would never really want to do that to him.
Hubby sure knows how to push a few buttons and I allowed myself to get engaged in a discussion that became heated and wound up with me in tears all because of the driving.
Then, I had the clarity moment and busted out laughing.
Hubby wanted to know what I was laughing about and I said "Because I'm all upset and trying to have a logical discussion with you and you may not even remember it in the morning and I'll be the only one upset still."
Hubby then decided he was moving out. I asked how he was going to take care of himself. He couldn't even shave himself with an electric shaver, how was he going to live alone?
He decided to show me and went off to shave. He returned to me quite a while later smelling of shaving lotion and said he couldn't finish. I calmly got up and said lets go take care of it and we did.
Wrapping my brain around this HUGE bounce back is very difficult. I wonder how long it will last.
Later Hubby was sitting on the edge of the bed and just fell off. No reason just kerplop.
He took a hard hit to his elbow and arm. I did the normal, move everything and check for damage.
All looks well but I bet Hubby is sore today.
Another oddity was that he just hopped up off the floor like nobody's business.
When I finally went to bed Hubby asked me if I was going to watch TV, I answered
yes. Hubby reached over, took my hand and held it as he fell asleep :-)
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Friday, January 8, 2010
A day in Lewy Life
I have really enjoyed the reasons to smile list and I know some are trying to make their own.
BUT I have really struggled some days to find the smiles. I know that what is posted makes things sound so easy. Honestly finding something amongst the struggles we are faced with every day can be a tad overwhelming and there are times I just don't want to look for anything good. So I decided to share a recent day and then what I chose to concentrate on.
Hubby sleeps most of the time. He is usually up towards the late afternoon and as the night wears on he becomes more confused about things. The last few days he has been very busy going through everything. I kid you not about everything, looking in and pulling things out of every drawer and cabinet. I have asked him numerous times what he was looking for and he just says he is looking. I think he is looking for anything he may recognize as his or have some memory of. Of course what he takes out NEVER gets put back by him. It gets frustrating seeing him sit in the middle of the floor pulling out all the clothes from the drawers and rifling through papers knowing I am the one to pick them up.
On one night in particular he ran across the car title to his green car. Last year I renewed the tag although he hasn't driven in almost 2 yrs now. It expires in May and he came to me with title in hand and asked about the license. I explained the tags were still good he left the room. He returned again about the tags. Once again I explained. He did this over and over and over and the final time he came and handed me the title and said in a huffy tone, Well this says 1994. At which point I threw my "Good Wife" crown, banged and re bent my scepter and wanted to choke someone with the frayed sash and said in a gruffly annoyed tone, THAT'S THE YEAR THE CAR WAS MADE!! He looked at me suspiciously and left the room.
Deciding that there was nothing to smile about for this day I retreated to play Zelda and save the monkeys. On the way I let the baby kittens in the house. Seeing the kittens he then shuffled into the kitchen and watched them play for a little while then went to the dining room and started going through the books and pottery and dishes (I could hear) then I heard a THUD!! I rushed to the room to find him lying on his back as he had taken a tumble in the floor. As the norm for falling I survey for visible damage and make sure all limbs are movable. Then I wait for him to decide when he can get up. I have learned not to try and physically help as he can not understand the process and the result would be both of us getting injured.
As he lay there one of the baby kittens rounded the corner and walked over to him and stared at him. He in turn looked at the kitten and said, "It's a good thing you weren't under me". I started laughing and he smiled. He finally got up and I re checked for damage then we went to bed. That was close to 11 PM.
My status for that was: WHEW Barely got this in. Jan 4: Hubby enjoys watching the baby kittens play. I let them come inside so he can see and interact with them. I enjoy seeing his gentle nature with them. :-)
So perhaps the reason for sharing this was to show you that no matter what situation you may find yourself burdened or overwhelmed by keep looking, seeking. The positive is always somewhere. It wont always be funny, it may just be knowing a friend said they were praying for you or a stranger did something considerate.
This is my resolution for the year. "Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."
BUT I have really struggled some days to find the smiles. I know that what is posted makes things sound so easy. Honestly finding something amongst the struggles we are faced with every day can be a tad overwhelming and there are times I just don't want to look for anything good. So I decided to share a recent day and then what I chose to concentrate on.
Hubby sleeps most of the time. He is usually up towards the late afternoon and as the night wears on he becomes more confused about things. The last few days he has been very busy going through everything. I kid you not about everything, looking in and pulling things out of every drawer and cabinet. I have asked him numerous times what he was looking for and he just says he is looking. I think he is looking for anything he may recognize as his or have some memory of. Of course what he takes out NEVER gets put back by him. It gets frustrating seeing him sit in the middle of the floor pulling out all the clothes from the drawers and rifling through papers knowing I am the one to pick them up.
On one night in particular he ran across the car title to his green car. Last year I renewed the tag although he hasn't driven in almost 2 yrs now. It expires in May and he came to me with title in hand and asked about the license. I explained the tags were still good he left the room. He returned again about the tags. Once again I explained. He did this over and over and over and the final time he came and handed me the title and said in a huffy tone, Well this says 1994. At which point I threw my "Good Wife" crown, banged and re bent my scepter and wanted to choke someone with the frayed sash and said in a gruffly annoyed tone, THAT'S THE YEAR THE CAR WAS MADE!! He looked at me suspiciously and left the room.
Deciding that there was nothing to smile about for this day I retreated to play Zelda and save the monkeys. On the way I let the baby kittens in the house. Seeing the kittens he then shuffled into the kitchen and watched them play for a little while then went to the dining room and started going through the books and pottery and dishes (I could hear) then I heard a THUD!! I rushed to the room to find him lying on his back as he had taken a tumble in the floor. As the norm for falling I survey for visible damage and make sure all limbs are movable. Then I wait for him to decide when he can get up. I have learned not to try and physically help as he can not understand the process and the result would be both of us getting injured.
As he lay there one of the baby kittens rounded the corner and walked over to him and stared at him. He in turn looked at the kitten and said, "It's a good thing you weren't under me". I started laughing and he smiled. He finally got up and I re checked for damage then we went to bed. That was close to 11 PM.
My status for that was: WHEW Barely got this in. Jan 4: Hubby enjoys watching the baby kittens play. I let them come inside so he can see and interact with them. I enjoy seeing his gentle nature with them. :-)
So perhaps the reason for sharing this was to show you that no matter what situation you may find yourself burdened or overwhelmed by keep looking, seeking. The positive is always somewhere. It wont always be funny, it may just be knowing a friend said they were praying for you or a stranger did something considerate.
This is my resolution for the year. "Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Reasons to smile
A new year. Some say a new start. So I shall start something new. I find
the responsibilities of care giving a little overwhelming at times but I really
don't want to focus on the negative of it so I want to keep my focus elsewhere. On the positive. I think this will be a difficult task but I honestly believe it will help me appreciate what precious time I have been given.
Now, the task. I hope to find one thing daily that made me smile about my husband.
This is a work in progress...
Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
2010
Jan 1 : I appreciate my husband's sense of humor. As a Christmas gift I bought Hubby a tray for his walker. I placed something on it that belonged to me and he said "Now I see why you bought it" :)
Jan 2: I appreciate my husbands compassion towards me. I have suffered with a sinus problem and he asked me if he could do something to make me feel better, then offered me sinus spray :)
Jan 3: Hubby was looking through the refrigerator and I said "Honey, do you need help with something?" he thought I said "Honey I need help" and he took off across the kitchen to where I was as fast as he could go. And believe me, with the speed he is at in walking anymore it took quite a bit of effort and I appreciate his concern for me. :)
Jan 4: Hubby enjoys watching the baby kittens play. I let them come inside so he can see and interact with them. I enjoy seeing his gentle nature with them. :-) That was the public facebook post but this is how it went down. For no apparent reason he took a tumble in the dining room. I immediately checked for movement of all limbs and visible injuries. He lay there for a few mins and one of the baby kittens walked in and looked at him. He in turn looked at it and said, "It's a good thing you weren't under me" :)
the responsibilities of care giving a little overwhelming at times but I really
Now, the task. I hope to find one thing daily that made me smile about my husband.
This is a work in progress...
Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
2010
Jan 1 : I appreciate my husband's sense of humor. As a Christmas gift I bought Hubby a tray for his walker. I placed something on it that belonged to me and he said "Now I see why you bought it" :)
Jan 2: I appreciate my husbands compassion towards me. I have suffered with a sinus problem and he asked me if he could do something to make me feel better, then offered me sinus spray :)
Jan 3: Hubby was looking through the refrigerator and I said "Honey, do you need help with something?" he thought I said "Honey I need help" and he took off across the kitchen to where I was as fast as he could go. And believe me, with the speed he is at in walking anymore it took quite a bit of effort and I appreciate his concern for me. :)
Jan 4: Hubby enjoys watching the baby kittens play. I let them come inside so he can see and interact with them. I enjoy seeing his gentle nature with them. :-) That was the public facebook post but this is how it went down. For no apparent reason he took a tumble in the dining room. I immediately checked for movement of all limbs and visible injuries. He lay there for a few mins and one of the baby kittens walked in and looked at him. He in turn looked at it and said, "It's a good thing you weren't under me" :)
Jan 5: Hubby has a very difficult time walking. He really needs to use his walker but most of the time he wont. I was behind him as he was trying to walk across the kitchen floor when he stopped and started bobbing up and down several times. I asked him if he was OK and wanted me to get his walker. He replied, "No I'm ...just trying to get some get up in my go". ! LOL! :-)
Jan 6: Hubby was having difficulty turning on a desk lamp so I reached over to help. Our hands collided and both of us retreated. We again reached at the same time with the same effect and once again withdrew. We did this several times so the final time I just forced my way to the switch. When the light illuminated the...re was Hubby standing with a chuckle and big grin on his face. He was doing it on purpose :)
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