Feb 15: Got sucked into a TV show marathon so as Hubby slept by me I let time slip away. Finally realizing how late it was getting I scooted off to the kitchen and threw together some random food items for supper. Put it all on a platter with 2 forks. Spread a tablecloth across our bed and Hubby and I had a picnic. Our first :)
Feb 16: Hubby and I were eating fudgesicles in bed and I asked him to throw away my wrapper. He leaned too far over and nearly fell off the bed. He has a grab bar to help him get out of bed so he grabbed it. I asked, "You want me to help and grab the back of your pants?" Quickly sitting up at that offer he said "No". I didn't know he could sit up so quickly ;-)
Feb 17: Hubby tried to sneak up on me and scare me. Silly man. When I popped his balloon about it he decided to put a cold cola can on my skin !! BRRR!!! I didn't know I could move that quickly ;-)
Feb 18: Cruisin along in our automobile with no particular place to go. How I enjoy times we can just get up and go. It can certainly be an adventure. ;-)
Feb 19: Paid the price by having a busy day the day before. Bobby was so exhausted he slept all day
Feb 20: Hubby and I spent a while looking at and talking about the pics on the digital picture frame. He really enjoys it. I need to get a scanner so I can scan old pics and add them to it for him. :)
Feb 21: A day of sleep
Feb 22: Hubby walked outside by his own choice. A rarity for him. He was wearing his red housecoat so he put on his Razorback cap (He made a choice). He looked so cute. :)
Feb 23: Watched a show in which 2 guys spent the night in a lodge, one said, "Nothing personal" and then he passed a loud body function to which he said, "Scares off the bears" I laughed out loud and asked Hubby "Is that what you do honey, keep the bears away?" Hubby chuckled and said "Yep" to which I replied with a side ways glance, "Yeah, me too" We both just busted out laughing!! We are bear free ROFLOL!
Feb 24:
Feb 25:
Feb 26: After a couple of very quiet and at times difficult days, today all I shall say is even though my plans for hubby and I to go somewhere got killed, I appreciate that Hubby didn't want me to miss out and told me I could go alone. (Thanks to our daughter for helping me find a smile)
Feb 27: With no concept of time Hubby decided he needed to shave at 11PM. An ability he no longer has but went into the bathroom to accomplish. He walked out into the bedroom a short while later unshaven with a towel wrapped around his shoulders and announced he was ready to take off. He said he had on his "Superman cape" Who could say no to helping Superman shave? Not me :) UP UP AND AWAY!
Monday, March 1, 2010
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Missing the clues
Hubby seemed to be experiencing a few days of extra confusion. He had a full day of wake one day. He had woken early and ordered his Malt O meal. He wandered around the house and decided he would go outside and look around. I haven't worried about him wandering away as he seems to feel pretty safe right here.
Later in the evening Hubby tried to engage in conversation. He wanted to know how long the 2 storage boxes in the front yard had been there.
They are actually old semi truck boxes that we purchased and he had delivered and set in the front yard.
Hubby then asked me "How long have you had them?"
I recalled to him where WE bought them from and approximately how long they had been there. I also told him about his having them placed and me not being here when they were or I would have had them placed elsewhere. I smiled at Hubby, he smiled back.
He then said "Yeah, they were telling me that they were mine"
I inquired as to who told him and when. His answer was he didn't remember but it was the other day.
Knowing we hadn't seen anybody the other day left me suspect to hallucinations.
This hasn't been the first time Hubby has talked about "they" telling him something. One of the distinguishing features of Lewy Body is the hallucinations.
Visual (seeing) auditory (hearing), olfactory (tasting), tactile (feeling something that isn’t there) or even precieved (A false or mistaken idea; a delusion).
Have you ever had that moment when you thought you heard someone call out your name so you went to that person to see what they wanted but it turned out they didn't say anything? You say "I could have sworn" and then pass it off as a different noise, perhaps something from the TV.
Hubby has had hallucinations before. Mostly the idea (delusions) that there are people in the house. Sometimes, to Hubby, actual people (visual), once a dog, have been in the house that he sees doing things. Once they took up my bed and left no room for Hubby. I informed Him that there was no room for anyone but him and me. Satisfied Hubby got into bed. Seldom does he talk about them, as somewhere in his mind Hubby knows these ideas are not quite right. But he does make reference to them on occasion that leads me to suspect hallucinations.
Like I said Hubby has had some more confused days but I almost had him convinced to attend a movie I have wanted to go see with me the other night. He backed out though. (clue #1) Our son supplied me with a much needed break so I could attend the movie. (the last movie I attended was 3 years ago with Hubby) I invited my sister and we had a wonderful time sharing popcorn and candy, giggling at each other in our 3D glasses and trying to reach out as if to touch the objects that appeared to be floating right by our face. It was a a wonderful break.
When I returned home, Son and Hubby were sitting up visiting. YAY! Before Son left Hubby was admiring Sons new wedding ring (his other got lost). At one time Hubby used to buy and sell jewelry and he began a conversation about it. The conversation led to another person now deceased and when I made that remark about them being gone Hubby argued with me about it. I back tracked everything I knew about said person and Hubby agreed with me just not the deceased part. Son only remembered vaguely this person so offered what information he had. After a while Hubby tried telling us about this persons 2 businesses. We were finally able to sort out that Hubby had 2 people merged into one. Hubby eventually realized his mistake. We all laughed about it but I guess I won't be getting the money Hubby bet me about deceased person.
Hubby went to the bathroom and Son told me that Hubby talked and talked while he was there (another YAY)
Son also said that Hubby was lonely.
This I know and have NO idea how to fix it beyond what I have tried to do. Sitting here now I wonder if it would be possible to hire a male companion to take Hubby to town once a week for coffee or hang out time.
After Son left, Hubby and I went to bed. Having a miserable night myself I was not surprised to find Hubby missing from the room when I woke completely and early. Since my snoring kept me awake most of the night I know Hubby was put out by it and went to find a quieter place. (I wish I could have gone with him)
This was the day we were going to take our road trip. As the morning moved on and my frustrations set in with each passing death of the precious get ready and go time, no Hubby emerged from the quiet room. As the afternoon passed still no signs of Hubby. That was fine with me because I was still hurt and annoyed about missing our plans. I had been in to check on him but asleep he was so I stood there long enough to make sure he was breathing. I don't get too alarmed at Hubby's staying asleep for such a long time, it happens. My aggravation and confusion came as a result of his refusal to get up when we (perhaps I should say I) had plans (clue #2). The planets all seemed to be aligned just yesterday :-/ (clue #3)
Suppertime came and went and darkness settled in.
I called Son to ask if Hubby seemed upset or distressed about anything in my absence. Son assured me all was well so I chalked it up to just a Lewy mood.
Once more I went to check on Hubby and deposit some things into the storage bedroom next to where Hubby was. I made the deposit rattling and moving boxes and bags. Then walked down the hall to where Hubby was and stepped in the door. It was dark so I stood there a moment trying to adjust my eyes to where I believed Hubby was sleeping. I called out to him and asked if he was OK and wanted anything. Upon hearing my voice Hubby stepped out of the closet. I never questioned him as to why he was standing in the closet in the dark. I can only think that he got scared by my movements in the other room and then heard me walking in his direction.
Hubby has never felt insecure here even though he doesn't know where he is much of the time.
This moment I felt he was. I have always taken comfort in the fact that he has never been afraid of being here or with me. This incident has now thrown a red flag for me.
Hubby answered my question with "yes' and that was all. I said OK and left.
Hubby emerged from the room to raid the refrigerator of the supper I had prepared and he ate standing up over the counter.
By this time Daughter, we were supposed to go and see, started her trek to come to us. What a blessing our children are. 3 grands in tow she arrived fairly late after a long days work, packing babies (ages 7,3 and 8 mo) and driving 3 hrs. She commented that having all boys made it easier to travel as she didn't have to try and locate gas stations ;-)
When she arrived Hubby came out of our bedroom, said hello and retreated. He stayed in there all except a few times her entire stay. Daughter is a Daddy's girl. I know this was hard for her. We had a wonderful visit and I got the opportunity to love on and spoil some boys. Life is good.
Later in the evening Hubby tried to engage in conversation. He wanted to know how long the 2 storage boxes in the front yard had been there.
They are actually old semi truck boxes that we purchased and he had delivered and set in the front yard.
Hubby then asked me "How long have you had them?"
I recalled to him where WE bought them from and approximately how long they had been there. I also told him about his having them placed and me not being here when they were or I would have had them placed elsewhere. I smiled at Hubby, he smiled back.
He then said "Yeah, they were telling me that they were mine"
I inquired as to who told him and when. His answer was he didn't remember but it was the other day.
Knowing we hadn't seen anybody the other day left me suspect to hallucinations.
This hasn't been the first time Hubby has talked about "they" telling him something. One of the distinguishing features of Lewy Body is the hallucinations.
Visual (seeing) auditory (hearing), olfactory (tasting), tactile (feeling something that isn’t there) or even precieved (A false or mistaken idea; a delusion).
Have you ever had that moment when you thought you heard someone call out your name so you went to that person to see what they wanted but it turned out they didn't say anything? You say "I could have sworn" and then pass it off as a different noise, perhaps something from the TV.
Hubby has had hallucinations before. Mostly the idea (delusions) that there are people in the house. Sometimes, to Hubby, actual people (visual), once a dog, have been in the house that he sees doing things. Once they took up my bed and left no room for Hubby. I informed Him that there was no room for anyone but him and me. Satisfied Hubby got into bed. Seldom does he talk about them, as somewhere in his mind Hubby knows these ideas are not quite right. But he does make reference to them on occasion that leads me to suspect hallucinations.
Like I said Hubby has had some more confused days but I almost had him convinced to attend a movie I have wanted to go see with me the other night. He backed out though. (clue #1) Our son supplied me with a much needed break so I could attend the movie. (the last movie I attended was 3 years ago with Hubby) I invited my sister and we had a wonderful time sharing popcorn and candy, giggling at each other in our 3D glasses and trying to reach out as if to touch the objects that appeared to be floating right by our face. It was a a wonderful break.
When I returned home, Son and Hubby were sitting up visiting. YAY! Before Son left Hubby was admiring Sons new wedding ring (his other got lost). At one time Hubby used to buy and sell jewelry and he began a conversation about it. The conversation led to another person now deceased and when I made that remark about them being gone Hubby argued with me about it. I back tracked everything I knew about said person and Hubby agreed with me just not the deceased part. Son only remembered vaguely this person so offered what information he had. After a while Hubby tried telling us about this persons 2 businesses. We were finally able to sort out that Hubby had 2 people merged into one. Hubby eventually realized his mistake. We all laughed about it but I guess I won't be getting the money Hubby bet me about deceased person.
Hubby went to the bathroom and Son told me that Hubby talked and talked while he was there (another YAY)
Son also said that Hubby was lonely.
This I know and have NO idea how to fix it beyond what I have tried to do. Sitting here now I wonder if it would be possible to hire a male companion to take Hubby to town once a week for coffee or hang out time.
After Son left, Hubby and I went to bed. Having a miserable night myself I was not surprised to find Hubby missing from the room when I woke completely and early. Since my snoring kept me awake most of the night I know Hubby was put out by it and went to find a quieter place. (I wish I could have gone with him)
This was the day we were going to take our road trip. As the morning moved on and my frustrations set in with each passing death of the precious get ready and go time, no Hubby emerged from the quiet room. As the afternoon passed still no signs of Hubby. That was fine with me because I was still hurt and annoyed about missing our plans. I had been in to check on him but asleep he was so I stood there long enough to make sure he was breathing. I don't get too alarmed at Hubby's staying asleep for such a long time, it happens. My aggravation and confusion came as a result of his refusal to get up when we (perhaps I should say I) had plans (clue #2). The planets all seemed to be aligned just yesterday :-/ (clue #3)
Suppertime came and went and darkness settled in.
I called Son to ask if Hubby seemed upset or distressed about anything in my absence. Son assured me all was well so I chalked it up to just a Lewy mood.
Once more I went to check on Hubby and deposit some things into the storage bedroom next to where Hubby was. I made the deposit rattling and moving boxes and bags. Then walked down the hall to where Hubby was and stepped in the door. It was dark so I stood there a moment trying to adjust my eyes to where I believed Hubby was sleeping. I called out to him and asked if he was OK and wanted anything. Upon hearing my voice Hubby stepped out of the closet. I never questioned him as to why he was standing in the closet in the dark. I can only think that he got scared by my movements in the other room and then heard me walking in his direction.
Hubby has never felt insecure here even though he doesn't know where he is much of the time.
This moment I felt he was. I have always taken comfort in the fact that he has never been afraid of being here or with me. This incident has now thrown a red flag for me.
Hubby answered my question with "yes' and that was all. I said OK and left.
Hubby emerged from the room to raid the refrigerator of the supper I had prepared and he ate standing up over the counter.
By this time Daughter, we were supposed to go and see, started her trek to come to us. What a blessing our children are. 3 grands in tow she arrived fairly late after a long days work, packing babies (ages 7,3 and 8 mo) and driving 3 hrs. She commented that having all boys made it easier to travel as she didn't have to try and locate gas stations ;-)
When she arrived Hubby came out of our bedroom, said hello and retreated. He stayed in there all except a few times her entire stay. Daughter is a Daddy's girl. I know this was hard for her. We had a wonderful visit and I got the opportunity to love on and spoil some boys. Life is good.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Precious memories
A blessing of magnitude was showered upon Hubby and me today.
Some wonderful and precious people gifted us with a scanner.
Hubby enjoys watching our digital photo frame and I had made mention that I would like to get a scanner so I could scan old photos and put them on the frame for Hubby to see. This gifter wanted to share the blessings they themselves had been showered with.
I have a difficult time accepting gifts from others. My first instinct was to object and refuse then insist no. Then I thought about how I would feel if I wanted to gift to someone.
Hubby and I were blessed to be on the receiving end of this great gift from these special people who could relate to our circumstances. They had been blessed so many times that they wanted to share in that.
They reached out to us and said, I am here, you are not alone, I understand.
They reminded me that God loves me.
It is always good to be reminded about these things as many times care giving feels so isolating.
I struggle to find the words that could express my feelings other than "I love you", which still feels inadequate, I am at a loss.
I am so excited to get this scanner going. It has the potential to restore or even jog a few memories, precious memories that Lewy has stolen from or clouded in the mind of Hubby.
Some I know will be gone forever but I am sure some will be validated as reality and not dreams or just thoughts. So tonight I will go through all of my old photos so I can scan and save them to the digital picture frame Hubby enjoys watching. I can't wait until he sits down with me and we get a chance to talk about them.
We are truly blessed.
Some wonderful and precious people gifted us with a scanner.
Hubby enjoys watching our digital photo frame and I had made mention that I would like to get a scanner so I could scan old photos and put them on the frame for Hubby to see. This gifter wanted to share the blessings they themselves had been showered with.
I have a difficult time accepting gifts from others. My first instinct was to object and refuse then insist no. Then I thought about how I would feel if I wanted to gift to someone.
Hubby and I were blessed to be on the receiving end of this great gift from these special people who could relate to our circumstances. They had been blessed so many times that they wanted to share in that.
They reached out to us and said, I am here, you are not alone, I understand.
They reminded me that God loves me.
It is always good to be reminded about these things as many times care giving feels so isolating.
I struggle to find the words that could express my feelings other than "I love you", which still feels inadequate, I am at a loss.
I am so excited to get this scanner going. It has the potential to restore or even jog a few memories, precious memories that Lewy has stolen from or clouded in the mind of Hubby.
Some I know will be gone forever but I am sure some will be validated as reality and not dreams or just thoughts. So tonight I will go through all of my old photos so I can scan and save them to the digital picture frame Hubby enjoys watching. I can't wait until he sits down with me and we get a chance to talk about them.
We are truly blessed.
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