Can't say anything was good, can't say anything was bad.
To me, everything seems 'normal'.
It's funny what caregivers consider 'normal' in our lives. Or at least what I consider 'normal' in mine.
Especially caregiving for dementia.
Lewy Body Dementia takes so many things away from Hubby and keeps them out of reach from me.
Hubby still struggles to admit his limitations. Sometimes I'm sure he knows he has problems and other times I really wonder if he is aware of them.
He can be quite stubborn about many things. For instance. I have been trying to get him to agree to a day facility for just a few hrs a couple of days a week. I tried to encourage him by highlighting the fact that he can get out of this house and associate with other people and have some time away from me.
I tried to argue (I know I know!!) the point that it would give me some time to get out too and maybe even join a health facility again. Something I need to put back into my life.
I could do things alone at home but lets face it. The reality is I really suck at self motivation.
I need people in my life.
But Hubby will have no part of it.
He doesn't want or need to go there but if I want to go alone I could.
Uh, sorry Hubby but that's NOT happening.
Then there are the other times Hubby will admit he can't do something like ride his bicycle or walk up the driveway with me to check the mail. There are times he struggles to just walk across the bedroom and asks for help.
When we get the lap over is when he is insistent ( a mild word) that he has the ability to drive, stay alone, etc etc in one breath and in the second, needs me to fetch him something to eat or drink because he can't get it himself.
Truth - This is the times when I'm annoyed with caregiving.
This is our normal though.
This is the holding pattern we seem to have been in for a little while.
This is also the time when I seem to collapse in on myself.
Feeling suspended in time and finding it difficult to move forward.
Wanting to hold on to moment yet waiting for the next change.
Hubby's most recent loss has been the placement of his wedding ring.
Hubby doesn't wear his rings all the time and the last couple of times he has, he has asked me which hand the wedding ring goes on. He says he can never remember. I tell him, believe me, I will remind you and not let you forget. We smile.
This morning he can barely walk and needed chair assistance to and from the bathroom.
There seems to be no reason to this sharp decline but Lewy doesn't really need a reason for anything.
In our holding pattern Hubby has felt like sitting out on the deck with me a couple of times in the evening.
One night we sat out and dreamed about things we would like to do. They weren't big travel plans, just home remodels and yard work. The expensive kind of course LOL! Hey, I said dream!
It felt good to dream with Hubby.
He still holds hope for his future.