This is dementia. It's not just a memory problem.
What you read in this blog is purely my own personal experience in dealing with Lewy Body Dementia every day.

This is not meant to offer any medical or legal advise.
I have no professional training in care giving or experiences in formal writing.
I'm just a woman that loves her husband deeply and wants to provide him with the best quality of life he can and chooses to have.
My prayer though this is "Lord, What am I learning from this; how can I use it help someone else and to glorify You?"
If just one person finds comfort in this public blog. I will feel like it was a success.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Annual Review

Today was our scheduled day for the Veterans Association to review Hubby's care and well being by doing a home visit.
Hubby kept asking me when the Dr was going to come and I had to keep reminding him no Dr was coming.
He was set that he had a few things he wanted to get straight with the Dr.
Again I informed him that no Dr was coming but it never sank in.

I was prepared with all of the financial information.
My box was full of receipts and accounting ledgers, detailed and condensed information for funds spent. How and why and where. Everything sorted and organized.

I spent yesterday picking up the house so it didn't look like Hubby was a prisoner in a junk yard.
I actually cleaned house, more because I was nervous about the visit.
Why was I nervous, you ask?

Well I know that as far as the financial stuff goes I was doing everything Okay. As stated above, very organized and meticulous.
But what I was nervous about was Hubby.

What would Hubby say?
Would he tell them how he thought I wasn't his wife?
Would he tell them that I have been stealing his money?
Would he tell them that he wanted to leave here?

The unknowns with dementia are upsetting enough as they are, but, knowing that someone has the power to change your life with the click of a pen is a little unnerving. So I clean. 

My portion of the review went off without a hitch. As a matter of fact the lady that arrived to do the review was very impressed with my thoroughness.
Then came her part with Hubby.
I asked Review Lady if she was aware of his Lewy Body Dementia and thankfully she was. Hey, she is a paper pusher you know. Oh and a nice one by the way.

I led her to Hubby's room and left them to visit while I went into another room. Not far enough away to be out of earshot though.
Well, you never know when I might be needed!

I heard Review Lady ask Hubby the standard mini Mental Questions. Which I thought was funny since she isn't a Dr but perhaps she needed to verify his dementia.
Hubby remembered his name and Birthday.
Branch of service and even his Service number!!! (Impressive!)
He didn't remember what years he served though.
Review Lady asked him the day and date, the president, all of which he did not know.
Then she asked Hubby if he knew where he was.
Hubby said in a home.
When asked if he knew what kind of home Hubby replied "A V.A. Home"
He was asked who takes care of you?
He replied, "She takes care of me" (I will feel safe to think he pointed towards the direction of the door I left from)
Review Lady asked if Hubby was aware he received V.A. monies.
Hubby said No (I almost snickered)
Then she asked if Hubby received a weekly Allowance, Hubby replied No (True answer only because he doesn't ask for anything)
Review Lady asked Hubby if there was anything he needed.
(Holding breath)
Hubby declared he needed more money (LOL!!!)
Review Lady agreed that would be nice and she would like some too.
They laughed.

Review Lady's final question for Hubby was "Are you being well cared for?"
Hubby replied "Yes, it's good here."

What a relief to hear that. After all the days of wanting to go home and accusations of theft and talk of leaving.

Review lady left the room and said her goodbyes but before she did she asked about me and how I was doing. Informed me that there wouldn't be a need for another review for 3 yrs. And she said Hubby looked great, and appeared very well cared for. He even smiled for her.

It's always good to have affirmation when we think we make so many mistakes.
And even Hubby, somewhere,in his brain, he knows he is in a good place.
It's been a good day and the house is clean to enjoy it :)

1 comment:

  1. Congratulations! I love this story.

    Getting validated always makes one feel good; I'm happy you got a little satisfaction for all the good work that you do to help Hubby.


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