Disclaimer

This is dementia. It's not just a memory problem.
What you read in this blog is purely my own personal experience in dealing with Lewy Body Dementia every day.

This is not meant to offer any medical or legal advise.
I have no professional training in care giving or experiences in formal writing.
I'm just a woman that loves her husband deeply and wants to provide him with the best quality of life he can and chooses to have.
My prayer though this is "Lord, What am I learning from this; how can I use it help someone else and to glorify You?"
If just one person finds comfort in this public blog. I will feel like it was a success.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

I don't know what that means

Hubby and I have been trying to converse about a couple of things.
The confusion that comes with his Lewy Body Dementia has really taken a forward jolt leaving me to scramble for a thesaurus when trying to talk with him.

His conversations are nearly nill anyway but after shortening compound sentences to singles; then single complex to simple; and simple to "old western movie indian"; and sometimes, just single words with a look.
I do struggle to make connections at times.

For instance. Hubby asks me every day what day it is. Sometimes he asks me more than once. I can usually respond with the correct day. I say usually because sometimes I get my days mixed up too but that is completely beside the point.

On Wed, Hubby asked me if it was a diff day. I didn't think too much of the wrong day conversation as we have had it often and I tell him the day. Wed was the correct one. We talked about Wed.
So, today is Wed?
Yes, today is Wed.
What day is Wed?
Today is Wed.
No, I mean what day is Wed?
Oh, Today is the 30th of March
What is today?
Today is Wed.
(confused look) I don't know what that means

At this point I say that Wed is the middle of the week and a day that the aide comes.
Hubby seems satisfied with this answer and I think nothing more of it

Today, there was a flurry of activity in the house.
2 rambunctious grandsons hungry for food engaged in a discussion of some type with their mother.
The kitchen is located off of our bedroom.
Hubby motions for me to come over to him.
I approach the bed and lay beside him.
He asks me who's talking.

I tell him Daughter in law is talking to the boys
Hubby is confused as to who daughter in law is. This is not new to us and I don't feel so alone in the forgotten pool. (Welcome to my world daughter in law)
He asks what she is doing
I tell Hubby she is talking to the boys about lunch
Lunch?
Yes, it's lunch time and they are hungry.
What?
The boys want to eat.
(confused look)
Daughter in law is making food for the boys.
(confused look) What is she doing to the boys?
Feeding them.
Why?
They want food.
(silently Hubby stares at me and says) I don't know what that means.
It's OK, she can take care of it.
(Hubby looses his confused look and closes his eyes as though relieved)

Oh Hubby, I am grateful you feel confidant enough to tell me when you struggle to understand.
I'll understand for both of us and make it OK for you.
OK enough for you to close your eyes and feel like everything is OK.

4 comments:

  1. I go through the same thing with my mother; later in the day is worse than morning. I make up so many stories to put her at ease, I think it's my convincing tone that makes her believe. We have 2 worlds in our house... the world of the dead people who come and wait for my dad to show up with the bus to take them to heaven and the living.

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  2. Kathy,

    I am going to read up on Lew Body. My husband has mixed dementia--Vascular and Alzheimer's.

    I have to be so patient also. My hubby understands much and writes down what is happening in the day. However, he has to ask me how to spell. "Mow the yard" is not easy for him to spell. Did he mow the yard after writing it down? No, but it helps him realize what he needs to do this next week. I am grateful that he does mow the yard still and I know that one day I will have to assume that role.

    We finally talk about the fact that he has Alzheimer's and he seems to accept that but not really be bothered by the fact.

    Cordially,
    Carol
    http://plantcityladyandfriends.blogspot.com/

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  3. My dh can't spell either and has a hard time writing. We just know he has dementia, but not what kind. The only tests done were the questions in the office. Takes Namenda and Aricept. His hands and feet are sometimes so red and cold. Left hand skin is getting taut. Anyone having these symptoms? He has hallucinations at night. Any one know what is going on. Sees Dr. in May. Thank you, alfwilk@comcast.net

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  4. Sue, We have sun uppers and downers ;-) In Lewy's world I don't think there is much difference

    Carol aka NewKid, I'm glad your husband still wants to do things even if he cant start or complete the task. At least he is willing. Mine never wanted to talk about his dementia. Most of the time he thinks there is nothing wrong with him. It's especially those trying moments that I need to remind myself, Hubby can't help it.
    Good to hear from you again.

    Hi Brenda, Thank you for taking the time to post.
    When did they say your hubby had dementia? Mine was diagnosed in Oct 2007 with Lewy Body. They put him on Galantamine and WOW what a world of wonder. He responded SO well.
    As far as the particular symptoms you describe we have only experienced the hallucinations. They are not frightening or upsetting to Hubby and most of them are auditory.
    Keep us posted on how things go at the Dr.

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