Disclaimer

This is dementia. It's not just a memory problem.
What you read in this blog is purely my own personal experience in dealing with Lewy Body Dementia every day.

This is not meant to offer any medical or legal advise.
I have no professional training in care giving or experiences in formal writing.
I'm just a woman that loves her husband deeply and wants to provide him with the best quality of life he can and chooses to have.
My prayer though this is "Lord, What am I learning from this; how can I use it help someone else and to glorify You?"
If just one person finds comfort in this public blog. I will feel like it was a success.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Some Days

Some days I just want to scream
Some days I just want to shout
kick
stomp
run away
cry
twirl around like a tornado
throw things
wail
be the mean girl
sit down
and give up
Some days I can't think.
I can't find the energy to exert on it.

I haven't thought well for a few days
I didn't even want to type right now,
but I didn't want to be silent, more.

I'm tired all the way to my heart.
I'm feeling empty.
I want to smile and laugh but the efforts feel forced.
I want to offer encouragement to others but I can't find the words.
Brain fog is rolling in and I need to combat it.
I try to read my Bible but the words all run together.

It's days like these I wonder. Will I survive caregiving?
And if I do, what will I be like at the end?
That thought frightens me.

I'll dig out of this hole I feel like I'm in.
I'll look back at it and say,
Some days I sure could be whiney

1 comment:

  1. Kathy... I felt like this all the time until our ND had me start taking 20 mg of naturally occurring lithium orotate. If you don't take high blood pressure Meds, it is safe. You need to take fish oil with it. All the pain in my body is gone. The stress is easy to manage. I sing a lot now. It makes my mom happy when I sing and dance... It's contagious! Write me if you have questions. You are in my thoughts.

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