Disclaimer

This is dementia. It's not just a memory problem.
What you read in this blog is purely my own personal experience in dealing with Lewy Body Dementia every day.

This is not meant to offer any medical or legal advise.
I have no professional training in care giving or experiences in formal writing.
I'm just a woman that loves her husband deeply and wants to provide him with the best quality of life he can and chooses to have.
My prayer though this is "Lord, What am I learning from this; how can I use it help someone else and to glorify You?"
If just one person finds comfort in this public blog. I will feel like it was a success.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Stubborn Independence

Oh my, what a day.

Poor Hubby took a fall and banged the side of his head leaving a mark and I will be forward thinking enough to guess a black and blue face in a day or two.

His attempt to walk from the bed to the bathroom proved futile. He called for me and I immediately went to him but the moment I stepped in the door I saw his grip on the hand rail release and I stepped into the twilight zone of slow motion as I watched him fall over and I attempted to get to him.
So close and so far away and my stomach knotted as I witnessed his stiff unbending body take a tree fall into a piece of furniture and his head scrape down the front of it. He lodged between the end of his bed and the antique sewing machine.
I was horrified as I watched Hubby fall and overwhelmed with frustration at myself for not getting to him in time to, at the very least, deflect his angle and hope he landed on the bed.
I've actually done that in the past by giving him a hip check as he was falling to prevent serious injury.
This time I was too late. Realizing Hubby was in an awkward position I had to drag him out from where he was trapped. Hubby wasn't unconscious but he wasn't responding to me either. He was making some kind of a low moaning noise.
After I got him into the open and sitting up, I could do nothing but cradle him in my arms and cry.
I couldn't even survey the damage I feared he had. I had to pull myself together but I was struggling to do it.
After a few moments I tried talking to him again. He was responsive this time. I sat back and checked him for injury. A mark on his face and ear. A mark on his wrist but he was moving all fingers and wrist. He wasn't complaining anywhere else.
I suggested a ER visit without the ambulance but he refused.
His face wasn't swelling, he seemed alert and oriented (?) Okay alert and oriented for Hubby. So I suggested we get him up and in bed. He agreed yet wouldn't accept my help to get up. He insisted on doing it himself and after several minutes he finally accomplished it. I stood close by ready to assist, wanted or not if the try took a turn for the worse.

I wonder when or if he'll ever realize that he needs more help in the areas of walking.
The fluctuation of Lewy Body make it difficult for him to understand he can't do the things he thinks he should.
I know he wants to maintain his stubborn independence, I get that, but at what cost to him?

Just the other day he was having a really good mobile day and during our outing he wanted to stop at a friends place of business. I always get nervous when he wants to make stops in town but I did and he insisted on walking in so I let him without fussing about it. I sat in the car and videoed him as he made the attempt. This looks farther than it is.

He finally made it inside and through the glass I could see him talking with his friends. After a few minutes they walked outside and the friend stepped in my direction. I got out of the car as friend proceeded to tell me that Hubby was having trouble getting back but didn't want his help,
"He said you would help him, cause you always do."
Friend was right, at least I always do try.


 

4 comments:

  1. His stubbornness is understandable and admirable, but I can certainly see where it can cause you great concern for his well-being. I thought it was really interesting too that you say you have to 'hip-check' him sometimes to prevent something more serious - something that makes sense based on how you describe it, but not something I would have ever thought of having to do to keep someone safe. So glad he has you there 'trying' every day...

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    1. Hi :)

      Thank you for taking the time to comment.
      Sometimes we just have to do what we have to do to keep our loved one safe, right?
      Who knew those disco techniques would work in situations like that? ;-)

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  2. Wow, your story hits home to me. My father had Lewy Body and just passed away this past March, he was only 61 yrs old. My mom was his caregiver for years, then my brother had to help, he did all the night watches, as you know people with Lewy Body do not sleep. I just want to say your husband is very lucky to have you. Take care and God bless both of you.

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    1. May I say I do know what your going through. This Lewy body, robs life, from the patient and family, and kills your soul. Then your suppose to jump back in and return to life, it's been 6mos.since my husband has passed and I hurt deeply just playing his life he had with his dementia inmy head. It has changed, our family so, that each day is still hard to face. Well, will write again. Bless you'

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