I wrote the following in response to a question by a fairly new caregiver.
He asked how he could make the care of his father an adventure for he and his wife.
I liked my response so well, (sometimes stuff just flows out of my head and sounds good, giggle) I'm posting it as a blog because I think it can relate to others as well as those of us living and caring for loved ones with Lewy Body dementia.
It (caregiving) will be an adventure on it's own, YOU just have to decide the type. Keep your humor, you WILL need it.
Pick and choose your battles.
Don't sweat the small stuff and there will be an overwhelming amount of small stuff.
Find
time for you, let your wife find some time for her and together find
time for each other. Have a date night even if it's at home.
Sounds like you have a team of 2, add to it and smile LOTS.
Daily
write one thing on the calendar that made you smile or laugh, anything
at all, try not to repeat. It will be an easy start but will get
increasingly hard to do so you will have to SEEK it and eventually you
will train your mind to find the positive. Some days may be blank. Try
not to leave too many of them.
Ask
for advice, others can help you think outside the box. There is a TON
of seasoned caregivers willing and able to lend to your list of
suggestions. Every person is different, what works for one does not
necessarily work for another. Trial and error. There will be lots of
error
Don't let things "pile up" Try not to get caught up in the loop of
negative thinking. It's too easy of a trap. Say you're sorry, admit your
frustrations remember your dad can't help how he is.
Love him madly, even when he is the most unlovable, you won't have to like his actions all the time.
Buckle
up! It's a bumpy ride, the twists and turns will make you and your wife
bump heads at times. Stay seated and keep your hands and feet and heart
inside at all times. You got this!!
This is dementia, it's not just a memory problem. My husband was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia in Oct 2007. This is our story. The ups and downs, the sorrows and joys. A non clinical view of living the Lewy life. Our story ended Feb 11, 2014. Lewy Body dementia hasn't been cured yet so until it is, this blog will be timeless in it's approach to caregiving, love and faith. It's a daily approach to those things.
Disclaimer
This is dementia. It's not just a memory problem.
What you read in this blog is purely my own personal experience in dealing with Lewy Body Dementia every day.
This is not meant to offer any medical or legal advise.
I have no professional training in care giving or experiences in formal writing.
I'm just a woman that loves her husband deeply and wants to provide him with the best quality of life he can and chooses to have.
My prayer though this is "Lord, What am I learning from this; how can I use it help someone else and to glorify You?"
If just one person finds comfort in this public blog. I will feel like it was a success.
What you read in this blog is purely my own personal experience in dealing with Lewy Body Dementia every day.
This is not meant to offer any medical or legal advise.
I have no professional training in care giving or experiences in formal writing.
I'm just a woman that loves her husband deeply and wants to provide him with the best quality of life he can and chooses to have.
My prayer though this is "Lord, What am I learning from this; how can I use it help someone else and to glorify You?"
If just one person finds comfort in this public blog. I will feel like it was a success.
Hi Kathy! Joining you for the Caregiving.com Blogging Party! Love this post with your advice for a new caregiver. Good reminders for seasoned caregivers too! :)
ReplyDeleteIna