Hubby is still on the downward slide. Slower but still noticeable.
Yesterday he had NO idea who I was. Usually he knows me as Kathy, the woman that takes care of him and the one he is supposed to be married to.
But yesterday he had no idea who I was. Asked me who I was on more than one occasion; and if I read his reactions every time I saw him, he thought I was a different person each time. He was pensive about my presence but accepted it.
Once he asked me if I knew him and I answered yes, we have been married for more than 29 yrs!
He said WOW! LOL
Today he once again remembers me as Kathy.
We shared a big laugh this afternoon.
I reached into his candy stash and told him I was "Stealing" a piece of his candy.
(Reeses PB cups! You would too)
He laughed at me and said, "I forgot I had that."
I smiled real big and said,
"Good thing for me you forget. You don't remember you have it and won't remember I stole it!"
We laughed!!
It's a nice moment :)
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Pushing Our Luck
So Hubby and I were able to be present at the birth of our grandson a few days ago. Not even Lewy Body Dementia could stop us that time.
We had to leave earlier than I wanted to but Hubby declined and getting him home to safer and more comfortably familiar surroundings was priority over my heart desire.
BUT my head started to think...
We did have a few good hours, Soooo... Surely we could do it again, this time after a nights rest and planning. Surely?
I made the executive decision that we would go back.
Knowing it takes a GOOD 2 hrs to get ready to go anywhere I allowed plenty of sleep time and as there was no schedule we needed to be on, it seemed like a good thing. I should have known there was trouble looming in this the moment Hubby asked if I could go without him.
Uh, NO! If you don't go I can't go. (sad face)
Hubby agreed to finish getting ready.(Happy face)
I showered while he ate.
Now Lon Kieffer, aka DOC, founder of Defender of Caregivers has a FB posting that say..
"You might be a caregiver if..."
I posted the following...
You might be a caregiver if you shower and use girly smell good shampoo, conditioner, body wash, lotion , body spray, powder, hairspray etc then shave your husband to only smell like aftershave ;-)
2 hrs passed and I was still trying to get Hubby out the door.
We got all the way to the front door when he decided to stop and speak to all the cats outside the window (actual cats). My mind is pushing, Hubby, you can actually walk out the door and speak to them as we move toward the car.
I think I'm getting a little anxious at this point.
FINALLY Hubby makes it down the 2 steps when I realize, I already loaded the wheel chair. I run to get the chair out of the trunk so he can ride to the car.
Loaded and locked and away we go. Hubby Niece and I!
It was a nice trip there. It's over an hour drive but the anticipation of seeing our daughter and son in law and, who am I kidding, that NEW GRANDBABY!!! made it seem to go by much faster.
Son in law went on a lunch retrieval after we arrived so we all enjoyed a nice lunch and visit.
We pictured and paparazzied the baby and our daughter and son in law.
Hubby was a little needy but all due to the unfamiliar surroundings; so, no biggy
UNTIL
Hubby had melt down mode.
While sitting in a dining room chair, hubby slumped over and could not sit upright or stay in the chair. I was eventually get him propped up enough to keep him supported and he eventually was able to support his own self in the chair. I told Hubby I felt it was better for us if we went home to more familiar surroundings. Hubby was reluctant to leave but agreed so we made an early departure.
On the way home I decided that travel would now be out of the question for us. I feel fortunate that Hubby was able to regroup but how much would our luck hold out on that ability.
Once we arrived in town Hubby asked me to drive to get something to eat. I really didn't think it was a good idea but he was out and maybe he was feeling better so I agreed. As we headed down the road I asked Hubby where we were going. He never did tell me just said , turn, turn at certain roads. Frustrated I gruffed, "Where are we going, there is no place to eat in this area!?"
Hubby decided he wanted to drive down by one of our rental homes. The same home he had been talking about moving into and on his own but I don't think about THAT part until I pull up into the driveway. STUPID STUPID ME!!!
Hubby opens the car door and proceeds to get out. I ask Hubby to explain why we had to leave our daughters because he can't sit up yet he thinks he can walk around a piece of property. Hubby stares at me. Niece, who was in the back seat, suggested Hubby might need his walker. I snapped at niece to sit quietly and stop offering suggestions.
Hubby clutched the car door for a while then a very nearby tree for support. Realizing he would not be able to proceed any farther he decided to get back into the car.
Sneaky Hubby!! By this time I was a little more than miffed.
Hubby closed the car door, I said buckle up as I rounded the corner and headed for home.
Once we hit a main street Hubby told me to go one direction and I went toward home.
Hubby, annoyed that I wasn't listening to him made a "Well, SH**" comment. I told him that those were my exact sentiments.
The LAST thing I wanted was another incident that had to involve the police because Hubby refused to leave somewhere.
I didn't want it for him, and I didn't want it for me.
I HATE having to use the authority I was given. More than anything I have tried to preserve his dignity throughout this entire process. I REFUSE to call his disposable undergarments as diapers. It's feels degrading for me to say it and I correct him when he does. I NEVER say I need a baby sitter for him. Hubby isn't a baby even though he can act like one at times. I'm not to bad about acting like one myself. Read up about the sad face remark.
Hubby is losing SO much of his dignity. I am trying so hard to hold on to every shred I can and when I have to make very hard decisions I feel like I am ripping it off him like a piece of flesh and it hurts, even me.
So I believe we have reached the end of our going.
We shall now remain home unless we have Dr appointments, I try to schedule those as far between as possible.
I've always been good at pushing my luck. You can ask my Father.
He has been know to say to me on more than one occasion,"You're pushing your luck!"
We had to leave earlier than I wanted to but Hubby declined and getting him home to safer and more comfortably familiar surroundings was priority over my heart desire.
BUT my head started to think...
We did have a few good hours, Soooo... Surely we could do it again, this time after a nights rest and planning. Surely?
I made the executive decision that we would go back.
Knowing it takes a GOOD 2 hrs to get ready to go anywhere I allowed plenty of sleep time and as there was no schedule we needed to be on, it seemed like a good thing. I should have known there was trouble looming in this the moment Hubby asked if I could go without him.
Uh, NO! If you don't go I can't go. (sad face)
Hubby agreed to finish getting ready.(Happy face)
I showered while he ate.
Now Lon Kieffer, aka DOC, founder of Defender of Caregivers has a FB posting that say..
"You might be a caregiver if..."
I posted the following...
You might be a caregiver if you shower and use girly smell good shampoo, conditioner, body wash, lotion , body spray, powder, hairspray etc then shave your husband to only smell like aftershave ;-)
2 hrs passed and I was still trying to get Hubby out the door.
We got all the way to the front door when he decided to stop and speak to all the cats outside the window (actual cats). My mind is pushing, Hubby, you can actually walk out the door and speak to them as we move toward the car.
I think I'm getting a little anxious at this point.
FINALLY Hubby makes it down the 2 steps when I realize, I already loaded the wheel chair. I run to get the chair out of the trunk so he can ride to the car.
Loaded and locked and away we go. Hubby Niece and I!
It was a nice trip there. It's over an hour drive but the anticipation of seeing our daughter and son in law and, who am I kidding, that NEW GRANDBABY!!! made it seem to go by much faster.
Son in law went on a lunch retrieval after we arrived so we all enjoyed a nice lunch and visit.
We pictured and paparazzied the baby and our daughter and son in law.
Hubby was a little needy but all due to the unfamiliar surroundings; so, no biggy
UNTIL
Hubby had melt down mode.
While sitting in a dining room chair, hubby slumped over and could not sit upright or stay in the chair. I was eventually get him propped up enough to keep him supported and he eventually was able to support his own self in the chair. I told Hubby I felt it was better for us if we went home to more familiar surroundings. Hubby was reluctant to leave but agreed so we made an early departure.
On the way home I decided that travel would now be out of the question for us. I feel fortunate that Hubby was able to regroup but how much would our luck hold out on that ability.
Once we arrived in town Hubby asked me to drive to get something to eat. I really didn't think it was a good idea but he was out and maybe he was feeling better so I agreed. As we headed down the road I asked Hubby where we were going. He never did tell me just said , turn, turn at certain roads. Frustrated I gruffed, "Where are we going, there is no place to eat in this area!?"
Hubby decided he wanted to drive down by one of our rental homes. The same home he had been talking about moving into and on his own but I don't think about THAT part until I pull up into the driveway. STUPID STUPID ME!!!
Hubby opens the car door and proceeds to get out. I ask Hubby to explain why we had to leave our daughters because he can't sit up yet he thinks he can walk around a piece of property. Hubby stares at me. Niece, who was in the back seat, suggested Hubby might need his walker. I snapped at niece to sit quietly and stop offering suggestions.
Hubby clutched the car door for a while then a very nearby tree for support. Realizing he would not be able to proceed any farther he decided to get back into the car.
Sneaky Hubby!! By this time I was a little more than miffed.
Hubby closed the car door, I said buckle up as I rounded the corner and headed for home.
Once we hit a main street Hubby told me to go one direction and I went toward home.
Hubby, annoyed that I wasn't listening to him made a "Well, SH**" comment. I told him that those were my exact sentiments.
The LAST thing I wanted was another incident that had to involve the police because Hubby refused to leave somewhere.
I didn't want it for him, and I didn't want it for me.
I HATE having to use the authority I was given. More than anything I have tried to preserve his dignity throughout this entire process. I REFUSE to call his disposable undergarments as diapers. It's feels degrading for me to say it and I correct him when he does. I NEVER say I need a baby sitter for him. Hubby isn't a baby even though he can act like one at times. I'm not to bad about acting like one myself. Read up about the sad face remark.
Hubby is losing SO much of his dignity. I am trying so hard to hold on to every shred I can and when I have to make very hard decisions I feel like I am ripping it off him like a piece of flesh and it hurts, even me.
So I believe we have reached the end of our going.
We shall now remain home unless we have Dr appointments, I try to schedule those as far between as possible.
I've always been good at pushing my luck. You can ask my Father.
He has been know to say to me on more than one occasion,"You're pushing your luck!"
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Lighting a Furnace
rattle rattle rattle!
rattle rattle rattle!
Ever hear the sound of a crinkling plastic bag?
rattle rattle rattle!
Tired from a wonderfully exhausting life moment Hubby and I went to bed early.
Snuggled under covers and cozy I fell into a sleep pattern.
I can't say drifted, because I don't drinft. Within 5 mins of head touching pillow, I can be asleep. Anything beyond 5 mins and I think I have insomnia!
Always have been that way.
Sleep is my escape.
Hubby would get SO annoyed at me for this ability.
He has always been one of those insomnia people.
I feel bad for th...zzzzz
Last night I was way into an hrs worth of mental and physical regrouping when I heard it
rattle rattle rattle!
It took a min to recover and survey.
We have no inside animals so that was not an option.
I rolled over to see Hubby lying on his side, arms hanging off the bed into the trash can where I place plastic bags as liners.
I get amused at this only because earlier Daughter in law and I were talking about getting rest and I asked her to pray for me that I would not only sleep, but rest.
I forgot to ask her to pray the same for Hubby.
So I lay there smiling as I reached over to move Hubby a little and distract him enough for him to roll over and away from the trash can. It worked.
For 30 seconds
rattle rattle rattle!
I turn back over to see Hubby's outline leaning off the edge of the bed. I awake more and pull on Hubby's shoulder to ask what he is doing.
Hubby is VERY annoyed and in not so nice language he tells me that he is trying to get the blankety blank furnace lit.
I'm stupid and ask, "What?" We don't even have a furnace to light so I thought it was a valid question.
Yes, yes, I know please don't rub it in.
Hubby repeats just as, if not more so, annoyed and not so nice.
Now I have some choices here.
Respond in kind and fuel the emotions for the non existent furnace to flaming, leaving me upset for the rest of the night and Hubby ...well I'm not sure what he would have remembered.
Or gently encourage him to try and light the furnace without using the trash can.
I choose the latter which was in actuality the correct response on my part but aggitates Hubby even more to suggest he do something without the proper equipment! What is WRONG with me?!!!
I refrain from under cover giggles, perhaps my finding the humor was a result of being overtired, who knows why I do the things I do ;-)
I suggest to Hubby that I really think he is dreaming.
Yep, I have done it now! Hubby flames, "Dreaming?!"
I agree with myself
Hubby pauses then tells me (more not so nice) he will get a flashlight and SHOW me that he needs to do it and everything else about it!
I stroke his head for him.
Hubby releases some tension.
Another pause.
And then a Gruff, "Well, OK"
Hubby settles down, I stifle more giggles and I pray he is able to sleep and rest.
I say Amen....zzzzz
rattle rattle rattle!
Ever hear the sound of a crinkling plastic bag?
rattle rattle rattle!
Tired from a wonderfully exhausting life moment Hubby and I went to bed early.
Snuggled under covers and cozy I fell into a sleep pattern.
I can't say drifted, because I don't drinft. Within 5 mins of head touching pillow, I can be asleep. Anything beyond 5 mins and I think I have insomnia!
Always have been that way.
Sleep is my escape.
Hubby would get SO annoyed at me for this ability.
He has always been one of those insomnia people.
I feel bad for th...zzzzz
Last night I was way into an hrs worth of mental and physical regrouping when I heard it
rattle rattle rattle!
It took a min to recover and survey.
We have no inside animals so that was not an option.
I rolled over to see Hubby lying on his side, arms hanging off the bed into the trash can where I place plastic bags as liners.
I get amused at this only because earlier Daughter in law and I were talking about getting rest and I asked her to pray for me that I would not only sleep, but rest.
I forgot to ask her to pray the same for Hubby.
So I lay there smiling as I reached over to move Hubby a little and distract him enough for him to roll over and away from the trash can. It worked.
For 30 seconds
rattle rattle rattle!
I turn back over to see Hubby's outline leaning off the edge of the bed. I awake more and pull on Hubby's shoulder to ask what he is doing.
Hubby is VERY annoyed and in not so nice language he tells me that he is trying to get the blankety blank furnace lit.
I'm stupid and ask, "What?" We don't even have a furnace to light so I thought it was a valid question.
Yes, yes, I know please don't rub it in.
Hubby repeats just as, if not more so, annoyed and not so nice.
Now I have some choices here.
Respond in kind and fuel the emotions for the non existent furnace to flaming, leaving me upset for the rest of the night and Hubby ...well I'm not sure what he would have remembered.
Or gently encourage him to try and light the furnace without using the trash can.
I choose the latter which was in actuality the correct response on my part but aggitates Hubby even more to suggest he do something without the proper equipment! What is WRONG with me?!!!
I refrain from under cover giggles, perhaps my finding the humor was a result of being overtired, who knows why I do the things I do ;-)
I suggest to Hubby that I really think he is dreaming.
Yep, I have done it now! Hubby flames, "Dreaming?!"
I agree with myself
Hubby pauses then tells me (more not so nice) he will get a flashlight and SHOW me that he needs to do it and everything else about it!
I stroke his head for him.
Hubby releases some tension.
Another pause.
And then a Gruff, "Well, OK"
Hubby settles down, I stifle more giggles and I pray he is able to sleep and rest.
I say Amen....zzzzz
Monday, March 7, 2011
Another Life Event
Hubby and I have been anxiously awaiting the birth of our baby's baby!
Mr Aiden Connor was born at 4:09 AM March 7.
22" long and weighed in at 9 lb 9.6 oz!!!
I don't know if I can stop smiling :) And you may be thinking, awww, first grandbaby? Nope!!!
The feeling never gets old!
Hubby and I had been talking about baby's arrival for a while. We made plans on going to be there. It's a trip of 1 1/2 hrs and with Lewy Body Dementia, trips of any distance are becoming more difficult to make. I wondered if an overnight hotel room would be our best option as babied do as they please for coming into the world. We were offered a place to stay at our daughters but I declined as some of Lewy's needs are more than I wanted to burden our daughter with (incontinence and leaking pull ups when Lewy won't rise to go to the bathroom) and their home isn't handicapped accessible as most homes are not. Unfamiliar territory is always a challenge for Lewy and Hubby is easily confused.
Upon our arrival to see daughter I quickly changed plans and decided we were not leaving her. We stayed in the room at the hospital all night.
Over the course of the last few weeks hubby has been pretty confused. He has his good days and a GREAT Sat in there for which I feel truly blessed!
Decline with Lewy Body Dementia, as with any dementia is inevitable and I MUST remind myself that Hubby can not control what is happening to him but I can control how I react to him. I'm not always the good wife, Some days I should be awarded with the "Good Wife" statue and other days I should have the title stripped away by force and be beaten with it. That's life though.
So our trip to see our baby have her baby happened. I didn't get to stay as long as I wanted. (I suppose short of having them live in the house with me is not long enough LOL) Issues cropped up with Lewy and it was in our best interest to get Hubby home and make him comfortable. The trip and the stay has taken yet another toll on Hubby but the GREAT news is that we both got to be there for our newest grandchild. Hubby was able to participate in another life event and for that we are so very blessed. Lewy didn't steal that moment!
Mr Aiden Connor was born at 4:09 AM March 7.
22" long and weighed in at 9 lb 9.6 oz!!!
I don't know if I can stop smiling :) And you may be thinking, awww, first grandbaby? Nope!!!
The feeling never gets old!
Hubby and I had been talking about baby's arrival for a while. We made plans on going to be there. It's a trip of 1 1/2 hrs and with Lewy Body Dementia, trips of any distance are becoming more difficult to make. I wondered if an overnight hotel room would be our best option as babied do as they please for coming into the world. We were offered a place to stay at our daughters but I declined as some of Lewy's needs are more than I wanted to burden our daughter with (incontinence and leaking pull ups when Lewy won't rise to go to the bathroom) and their home isn't handicapped accessible as most homes are not. Unfamiliar territory is always a challenge for Lewy and Hubby is easily confused.
Upon our arrival to see daughter I quickly changed plans and decided we were not leaving her. We stayed in the room at the hospital all night.
Over the course of the last few weeks hubby has been pretty confused. He has his good days and a GREAT Sat in there for which I feel truly blessed!
Decline with Lewy Body Dementia, as with any dementia is inevitable and I MUST remind myself that Hubby can not control what is happening to him but I can control how I react to him. I'm not always the good wife, Some days I should be awarded with the "Good Wife" statue and other days I should have the title stripped away by force and be beaten with it. That's life though.
So our trip to see our baby have her baby happened. I didn't get to stay as long as I wanted. (I suppose short of having them live in the house with me is not long enough LOL) Issues cropped up with Lewy and it was in our best interest to get Hubby home and make him comfortable. The trip and the stay has taken yet another toll on Hubby but the GREAT news is that we both got to be there for our newest grandchild. Hubby was able to participate in another life event and for that we are so very blessed. Lewy didn't steal that moment!
 |
| Pappaw said "Hello there Big Boy!" |
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Caught Off Guard
Hmmm.
I've said before that Hubby has had a downturn.
His Lewy Body Dementia has caused him havoc in his cognition.
I'm having a difficult time sorting out his words and keeping track of his confusion.
There seems so much of it that it is now the normal.
We have lots more "people" in our house and one guy that is always looking for someone and another that preaches. I told Hubby that the preaching didn't bother me as long as the guy preached the truth ;-)
Hubby thinks it is.
The "people" are spoken of more often, maybe they have been here all along just not mentioned.
The GOOD thing about them is that they do not upset Hubby.
Hubby asks me more often where we are. I always say and he either gets suspicious of my answer, as if I'm trying to fool him, or seems surprised. He never gets upset about it.
He startles easily, has for a while actually but I can be looking right at him and speak to him, Hubby will jump high enough to scare me!
We leveled out or just adjusted to the new level of confusion so the ride, although downhill, is manageable.
Things are perking along.
What caught me off guard is, that tonight, I experienced a bout of lonliness.
As if it came out of the blue and landed on me, seeping through my eyes.
I'm not whining, I thought why would I even bother to blog about that feeling.
It's just one feeling.
It will pass.
My goal was to be honest about my life with Lewy Body Dememntia.
Tonight my life experience is that I feel lonely.
And you know what?
It stinks.
Tonight I miss my husband even though he is in the same room as I am and will sleep in the same bed as I will.
But you know what else.
It's just a feeling. It will not dictate my life.
I will probably miss him many more times while he is here before I miss him when he is gone.
I will, however, be OK.
I've said before that Hubby has had a downturn.
His Lewy Body Dementia has caused him havoc in his cognition.
I'm having a difficult time sorting out his words and keeping track of his confusion.
There seems so much of it that it is now the normal.
We have lots more "people" in our house and one guy that is always looking for someone and another that preaches. I told Hubby that the preaching didn't bother me as long as the guy preached the truth ;-)
Hubby thinks it is.
The "people" are spoken of more often, maybe they have been here all along just not mentioned.
The GOOD thing about them is that they do not upset Hubby.
Hubby asks me more often where we are. I always say and he either gets suspicious of my answer, as if I'm trying to fool him, or seems surprised. He never gets upset about it.
He startles easily, has for a while actually but I can be looking right at him and speak to him, Hubby will jump high enough to scare me!
We leveled out or just adjusted to the new level of confusion so the ride, although downhill, is manageable.
Things are perking along.
What caught me off guard is, that tonight, I experienced a bout of lonliness.
As if it came out of the blue and landed on me, seeping through my eyes.
I'm not whining, I thought why would I even bother to blog about that feeling.
It's just one feeling.
It will pass.
My goal was to be honest about my life with Lewy Body Dememntia.
Tonight my life experience is that I feel lonely.
And you know what?
It stinks.
Tonight I miss my husband even though he is in the same room as I am and will sleep in the same bed as I will.
But you know what else.
It's just a feeling. It will not dictate my life.
I will probably miss him many more times while he is here before I miss him when he is gone.
I will, however, be OK.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
I See the Light
"Honey?"
Hubby asks.
I look through the bathroom door into the bedroom as I gather clothes for the washing machine.
"Yes?"
"Come here and help me with this lamp."
I ask Hubby if he wants it off and he answers yes.
I set the dirty clothes down on the top of the hamper and step into the room.
I move Hubby's over the bed table to reach the lamp and touch it.
The light goes off.
I look at Hubby and smile making sure this is what he wanted.
Hubby looks at me with the 'I can't believe it was so easy' expression and laugh, smiling back.
Hubby and I laugh together.
I hold his face and give him a kiss.
I say "I love you."
Hubby says
"I love you too."
It's a great moment.
Hubby asks.
I look through the bathroom door into the bedroom as I gather clothes for the washing machine.
"Yes?"
"Come here and help me with this lamp."
I ask Hubby if he wants it off and he answers yes.
I set the dirty clothes down on the top of the hamper and step into the room.
I move Hubby's over the bed table to reach the lamp and touch it.
The light goes off.
I look at Hubby and smile making sure this is what he wanted.
Hubby looks at me with the 'I can't believe it was so easy' expression and laugh, smiling back.
Hubby and I laugh together.
I hold his face and give him a kiss.
I say "I love you."
Hubby says
"I love you too."
It's a great moment.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Vent
I'm only doing this because I need a vent about Lewy Body Dementia.
I have found that through blogging I have a way to release my feelings and it becomes a way of self help. Keeping my thoughts and feelings sorted. Allowing me to re read them and realize things are not as bad as they appeared at the time.
I am not looking for sympathy or a pat on the back.
I just want to vent.
As I stated in the writing of this blog, this is the life Hubby and I share and these are my thoughts and feelings.
I've tired at the downcast posts I feel like I've written lately. I want something uplifting to share.
Today won't be that day though.
I'm tired. When I do not get my allotted hrs of straight sleep I'm grumpy.
Today I am grumpy.
I blame Lewy for this and not Hubby. And Yes, I do differentiate between the two.
I don't like Lewy but I love Hubby.
Lewy was up ALL night! Wandering the house, clutching everything to keep himself up righted.
Rattling the dresser, disrupting my nightstand and banging the bed. Scooting the kitchen chairs and clinking utensils and dishes forging for food. Then the trip back with items in shaking hand.
Unfortunately the items were liquid and he spilled it on the bed causing me a quick jump up and blanket removal while I realized I was walking in the stream of liquid on the floor. Chocolate Yoohoo, YOOHOO!!
You are right in your thoughts, the bright side to that is it was only yoohoo.
It started with the wipe out from last Saturday. What a great day that was for Hubby. The trade off for it is very high and seems to be rising.
Lewy started taking over. Sleeping more and extra mobility problems. Then last night serious confusion, as if regular confusion isn't enough.
How do I explain that? Regular confusion is just wondering and OK with the answers. Serious confusion is completely lost with a concentrated expression on everything. Did that make sense?
This morning Lewy is still awake and wandering in search of more food. It doesn't matter that he already had breakfast served, he forgot, and he wants to eat again so I prepare him something else. While he waits he stares. He stares into the other room and again that concentrated expression comes across his face. Lewy asks me who is here. I name all of the House Occupants.
Lewy wonders because the man in the other room looks like he is looking for someone.
The man is just standing there looking as if searching a crowd of people.
Of course I do not see a man so I once again name the people in the house and assure Lewy that we are the only ones here.
Lewy accepts this answer with suspicion but accepts non the less.
I feel the necessity to inform House Occupants of the condition of Lewy today.
Hallucinations are one of the core features of Lewy Body Dementia.
Not wanting House Occupants to be upset by this behavior I calmly explain what may need to be expected throughout the day and if face to face with it how they should react to Lewy.
House occupants are as understanding as they know how and agree to not get frightened by the confusion and respond as I wish.
Lewy retreats to his room to lay down.
I follow to whine and complain about him in my blog.
Lewy decided he wants to sleep.
Hmmm I think I will need to vacuum this room.
Sorry for the disruption Lewy.
Take it up with your friends if you have a problem with it.
I have found that through blogging I have a way to release my feelings and it becomes a way of self help. Keeping my thoughts and feelings sorted. Allowing me to re read them and realize things are not as bad as they appeared at the time.
I am not looking for sympathy or a pat on the back.
I just want to vent.
As I stated in the writing of this blog, this is the life Hubby and I share and these are my thoughts and feelings.
I've tired at the downcast posts I feel like I've written lately. I want something uplifting to share.
Today won't be that day though.
I'm tired. When I do not get my allotted hrs of straight sleep I'm grumpy.
Today I am grumpy.
I blame Lewy for this and not Hubby. And Yes, I do differentiate between the two.
I don't like Lewy but I love Hubby.
Lewy was up ALL night! Wandering the house, clutching everything to keep himself up righted.
Rattling the dresser, disrupting my nightstand and banging the bed. Scooting the kitchen chairs and clinking utensils and dishes forging for food. Then the trip back with items in shaking hand.
Unfortunately the items were liquid and he spilled it on the bed causing me a quick jump up and blanket removal while I realized I was walking in the stream of liquid on the floor. Chocolate Yoohoo, YOOHOO!!
You are right in your thoughts, the bright side to that is it was only yoohoo.
It started with the wipe out from last Saturday. What a great day that was for Hubby. The trade off for it is very high and seems to be rising.
Lewy started taking over. Sleeping more and extra mobility problems. Then last night serious confusion, as if regular confusion isn't enough.
How do I explain that? Regular confusion is just wondering and OK with the answers. Serious confusion is completely lost with a concentrated expression on everything. Did that make sense?
This morning Lewy is still awake and wandering in search of more food. It doesn't matter that he already had breakfast served, he forgot, and he wants to eat again so I prepare him something else. While he waits he stares. He stares into the other room and again that concentrated expression comes across his face. Lewy asks me who is here. I name all of the House Occupants.
Lewy wonders because the man in the other room looks like he is looking for someone.
The man is just standing there looking as if searching a crowd of people.
Of course I do not see a man so I once again name the people in the house and assure Lewy that we are the only ones here.
Lewy accepts this answer with suspicion but accepts non the less.
I feel the necessity to inform House Occupants of the condition of Lewy today.
Hallucinations are one of the core features of Lewy Body Dementia.
Not wanting House Occupants to be upset by this behavior I calmly explain what may need to be expected throughout the day and if face to face with it how they should react to Lewy.
House occupants are as understanding as they know how and agree to not get frightened by the confusion and respond as I wish.
Lewy retreats to his room to lay down.
I follow to whine and complain about him in my blog.
Lewy decided he wants to sleep.
Hmmm I think I will need to vacuum this room.
Sorry for the disruption Lewy.
Take it up with your friends if you have a problem with it.
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