Disclaimer

This is dementia. It's not just a memory problem.
What you read in this blog is purely my own personal experience in dealing with Lewy Body Dementia every day.

This is not meant to offer any medical or legal advise.
I have no professional training in care giving or experiences in formal writing.
I'm just a woman that loves her husband deeply and wants to provide him with the best quality of life he can and chooses to have.
My prayer though this is "Lord, What am I learning from this; how can I use it help someone else and to glorify You?"
If just one person finds comfort in this public blog. I will feel like it was a success.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Vent

I'm only doing this because I need a vent about Lewy Body Dementia.
I have found that through blogging I have a way to release my feelings and it becomes a way of self help. Keeping my thoughts and feelings sorted. Allowing me to re read them and realize things are not as bad as they appeared at the time.
I am not looking for sympathy or a pat on the back.
I just want to vent.
As I stated in the writing of this blog, this is the life Hubby and I share and these are my thoughts and feelings.

I've tired at the downcast posts I feel like I've written lately. I want something uplifting to share.
Today won't be that day though.

I'm tired. When I do not get my allotted hrs of straight sleep I'm grumpy.
Today I am grumpy.
I blame Lewy for this and not Hubby. And Yes, I do differentiate between the two.
I don't like Lewy but I love Hubby.

Lewy was up ALL night! Wandering the house, clutching everything to keep himself up righted.
Rattling the dresser, disrupting my nightstand and banging the bed. Scooting the kitchen chairs and clinking utensils and dishes forging for food. Then the trip back with items in shaking hand.
Unfortunately the items were liquid and he spilled it on the bed causing me a quick jump up and blanket removal while I realized I was walking in  the stream of liquid on the floor. Chocolate Yoohoo, YOOHOO!!

You are right in your thoughts, the bright side to that is it was only yoohoo.

It started with the wipe out from last Saturday. What a great day that was for Hubby. The trade off for it is very high and seems to be rising.
Lewy started taking over. Sleeping more and extra mobility problems. Then last night serious confusion, as if regular confusion isn't enough.
How do I explain that? Regular confusion is just wondering and OK with the answers. Serious confusion is completely lost with a concentrated expression on everything. Did that make sense?

This morning Lewy is still awake and wandering in search of more food.  It doesn't matter that he already had breakfast served, he forgot, and he wants to eat again so I prepare him something else. While he waits he stares. He stares into the other room and again that concentrated expression comes across his face. Lewy asks me who is here. I name all of the House Occupants.
Lewy wonders because the man in the other room looks like he is looking for someone.
The man is just standing there looking as if searching a crowd of people.
Of course I do not see a man so I once again name the people in the house and assure Lewy that we are the only ones here.
Lewy accepts this answer with suspicion but accepts non the less.

I feel the necessity to inform House Occupants of the condition of Lewy today.
Hallucinations are one of the core features of Lewy Body Dementia.
Not wanting House Occupants to be upset by this behavior I calmly explain what may need to be expected throughout the day and if face to face with it how they should react to Lewy.
House occupants are as understanding as they know how and agree to not get frightened by the confusion and respond as I wish.

Lewy retreats to his room to lay down.
I follow to whine and complain about him in my blog.
Lewy decided he wants to sleep.
Hmmm I think I will need to vacuum this room.
Sorry for the disruption Lewy.
Take it up with your friends if you have a problem with it.

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