This is dementia. It's not just a memory problem.
What you read in this blog is purely my own personal experience in dealing with Lewy Body Dementia every day.

This is not meant to offer any medical or legal advise.
I have no professional training in care giving or experiences in formal writing.
I'm just a woman that loves her husband deeply and wants to provide him with the best quality of life he can and chooses to have.
My prayer though this is "Lord, What am I learning from this; how can I use it help someone else and to glorify You?"
If just one person finds comfort in this public blog. I will feel like it was a success.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

We all fall down

We have had our fair share of unsteadiness for the last couple 3 days!
Before then, Hubby took a downward turn in cognition but had some 'busy and awake' days.
Those days followed by a sleep crash. Waking only when reminded to use the bathroom or to eat.

Besides the downturn in cognition Hubby has had mobility problems. We've had to retrieve the wheelchair on 2 separate occasions for transport.
On one occasion Hubby made it to the kitchen but on his way back he froze up and was unable to walk. I tried holding him and guiding him but he never could understand that he needed to move his feet.
The other occasion and on a separate day Hubby was able to walk into the kitchen to retrieve a can of chips and toddle back into the bedroom, but through the door was as far as he got before he froze.
Unsteadiness accompanied Hubby and while I was busy in the kitchen, Hubby lost balance and fell forward onto out bed using his hands and arms to support himself as he bridged the distance of 3 feet. I walked in to find Hubby clutching the can of chips and keeping himself supported.
I was able to upright Hubby and balance him long enough to slide the wheelchair under him and get him moved to safety.

I fear we may lose our walking abilities sooner than I anticipated if we continue on this course.
I have made a couple of extra efforts in providing the safest and easiest way for Hubby to rise from his sleeping position but even doing that has proved futile.
For the 3rd time, in as many days, I have found him lying on the floor wedged beside his bed.

I think the most frustrating to me is that the falls are always when I have stepped out of the room.
I purposely moved my computer desk and household bookkeeping into our room so Hubby would not feel so alone upon waking. I practically live in there with him, so afraid he will fall and get injured.
Feeling a little 'captive' I bought myself a camera and monitor. A nice little gem so I can keep an eye on Hubby if I need to step outside or out of the range of  site or hearing. Yet he ALWAYS manages to fall when I am no where around!

Gentle coaxing and demonstration is usually the key to getting Hubby to understand what he needs to do to get up from the floor.
Even at 2 AM when he fell last night. I jolted up so suddenly I made myself sick. Poor Hubby, I got the gait belt and used it as a pull coaxer for the direction I needed Hubby to move and un-wedged and moved him enough to support himself leaned against the bed. Hubby looked up at me as I apologized through the huffing and puffing i was doing. I told him I was sorry for having to tug and pull on him. Hubby's reply. "We have to do alot of that. I may get pulled in two."
He smiled

I did too

Then I excused myself from the task so I could sit down and let my heart and stomach settle and cry for a min.
I don't do that often, maybe I should.

After I was able to get Hubby up righted we tried to walk into the bathroom. His walking ability has declined so much so quickly it seems. He can't move his feet. The best he has done for a while is just about drag one foot. No he hasn't had any type of stroke. He has just lost the ability to know how to use it. His legs want to move and he can 'spring ' up and down a little but moving the feet is a whole other feat. (I just made myself smile so I'm keeping the word LOL)

I'm very tired. I've written and re written this about 4 times already. I tried so hard to give it a positive tone.
But the reality of this day is I can't.
Hubby rests now.
And I have things to do.

It will get better. I will adjust and re group and trudge forward and smile.
That's what I do and I seem to do it well.
Just not today.


  1. Sorry to hear you had a tough day. It's OK to cry... it will make you feel better. I read a study that says when we cry we release a "feel good" hormone. It's why we always feel good after a good cry.

    I often wonder if I'm addicted to the "feel good" hormone because I cry a lot!

    Hang in there my friend. You are a bright light and a beacon. You help so many, including me; when you have so many of your own troubles to face. In my opinion, you are a human angel.

  2. TY Sue,

    I appreciate your kind words and I KNOW you understand. I too read that crying study and it is true.
    I just don't want to be a 'feel good' junkie LOL!! ;-)

    The day has leveled out and I took a good 2 hr nap. Hubby lay close breathing on me under the warm blankets. It was soothing and peaceful.

    Hope you are feeling better yourself.


Thank you for taking the time to word verify comments. I'm sorry that due to Bot Spam the process is a little more time consuming.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.