There is nothing to say, nothing new, just treading water.
Numb may actually be a better word.
How do I move forward?
When did I lose myself?
I KNOW how important it is to take care of me, yet I can't move to do it.
What is it going to take?
I feel like I'm glued to the floor watching the days whiz by.
One after the other.
I don't make a Dr appointment because I can't depend on the aide service to show up on time, at the right time or at all.
I don't hire outside help because Hubby's needs are more than just sitting much of the time and he gets agitated that he "Don't need no d*** babysitter.
He is adamantly opposed to any kind of day facility even for a couple of hours.
Both the Dr and I have spoken to him about it.
I don't even go outside for periods of time because my fear is that Hubby will try to come looking for me and get hurt in the process.
Depending on family members is not easy, time constraints, distance, age, just a few factors working against me.
When did I make myself a prisoner and more importantly, how do I break the chains?
I hope this passes soon.
I'm getting concerned.