This is dementia. It's not just a memory problem.
What you read in this blog is purely my own personal experience in dealing with Lewy Body Dementia every day.

This is not meant to offer any medical or legal advise.
I have no professional training in care giving or experiences in formal writing.
I'm just a woman that loves her husband deeply and wants to provide him with the best quality of life he can and chooses to have.
My prayer though this is "Lord, What am I learning from this; how can I use it help someone else and to glorify You?"
If just one person finds comfort in this public blog. I will feel like it was a success.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Letting Go

Many MANY years ago, when the only thing I could do in the kitchen was boil water; I had an experience that lasts me a lifetime.
Once, while boiling said water I took a metal spoon and stirred macaroni in a metal pan. To keep the macaroni from sticking, I was sure to stir the bottom of the pan. As I reached over to turn the heat down on the electric stove, I made a full electrical connection and was paralyzed by the current, unable to let go of the spoon and unable to let go of the stove knob. It didn't last long and I eventually shook off the knob, threw the spoon and backed away from the stove staring it down, assessing my damage and remembering the pain.
Through my fright of the situation I concluded I was glad that was over and didn't want that to happen again although it would not be the last time in my life I have ever shocked by electricity. I recalled the incident several times to family and friends but eventually moved past the feeling and even found humor in the situation.
"See, I can't even boil water" ;-)

So what did I learn from this.
Perhaps that difficult and scary situations I can't seem to get out of, happen. By my own fault or by accident.
My recall of the situation was minimal but I could have easily allowed that fear to take over about electricity. Today I am very cautious and respectful of electricity but have no problems plugging in something I need or want to operate. Case in point, my computer!!
I have learned to use wooden or plastic spoons for stirring. And most of all I make sure , even when I know all is well, to never multitask by stirring and turning down a burner. One hand at a time :)

But what has this got to do with caregiving?

Hubby's Lewy Body Dementia has found me in a few scary, difficult to get out of situations emotionally.
Some by no fault of ours and some by my refusal to let go of the circuit.
I could find myself staying in the depression of the situation without a mind change.
I think the things that I fear is lingering anger and bitterness.
Those are the "electrical currents"' I am very cautious and respectful of.
They had already been in my life too long once and I don't want that to happen again.

So I feel the pain, acknowledge it.
Recall the situation in my blog and sometimes internally for several days depending on the depth of my mood.
Sometimes I just let go and sometimes I find a different method for stirring.
Then I look for the humor, if it can be found, or reach for a donut. ;-)
Mostly the humor these days.
"So tell me again, You're seriously TRYING to reason with a man that has dementia?"
Yeah, that's me, doing the best I can.


  1. You said it, girlfriend! I have to keep learning I can't reason with my hubby also. Just blogged about his tendency to want to rush out and buy something he lost. Sure tries our patience!

    Hope you can visit my blog by clicking on my name.


  2. Oh yes Carol,

    I already have you subscribed to :)
    I enjoy your blog!

  3. i enjoy reading your blogs sometimes I see myself and my husband in them with some of your past blogs


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