Disclaimer

This is dementia. It's not just a memory problem.
What you read in this blog is purely my own personal experience in dealing with Lewy Body Dementia every day.

This is not meant to offer any medical or legal advise.
I have no professional training in care giving or experiences in formal writing.
I'm just a woman that loves her husband deeply and wants to provide him with the best quality of life he can and chooses to have.
My prayer though this is "Lord, What am I learning from this; how can I use it help someone else and to glorify You?"
If just one person finds comfort in this public blog. I will feel like it was a success.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Me, Myself and I and BIL

My daily call to check on Hubby verified what I had said about his stomach problem was correct.
I find it funny that discussions of bathroom issues are as natural as discussing the weather.
Hubby was feeling better had risen to eat breakfast and was resting when I called.

There seems to be a calm that has settled on the house.
For the last 2 days I have noticed it in BIL too.
He's more cheery.
He sings while he puts his shoes on for school.

This day I tackled a home repair project that could NOT be done while Hubby was here.
Re Grouting the bathroom floor.
I've been wanting to take care of this over due repair for some time now but have not been able to free up the bathroom for the length of time it takes to do the job.
Hubby being away frees up the bathroom (we have another upstairs I can get to) and allows me to devote my time to doing the job as quickly and easily as I can without distractions.

You might think that this is all boring and wonder why I would choose an activity like this for my respite.
I can assure you that this is something I want to do.
Not rushing into a free for all respite week for me was the most relaxing and mind strengthening I could do for myself.
Taking care of me had to be priority number one if I want to care for Hubby.
Knowing this job will be finished is part of taking care of me.
I really am feeling a little more collected and although this job is tedious I do enjoy it.
It's what relaxes me.

Also, I still have caregiving responsibilities for my 63 yr old Down Syndrome BIL.
It's funny though that I never consider myself as a caregiver for him. I've been doing it for more than 17 yrs. He has always been considered as one of my kids. Perhaps because he is of the age equivalent of an uneducated 8 yr old and his care blended with the kids while they were young.
He still needs care just like my children when they were young.  They outgrew it, BIL didn't
That type of care was just being a parent and nothing more to me.
BIL's needs are met. He is encouraged to do everything he can and sometimes pressed to do what I know he can even when he complains that he can't.
He is always encouraged to try something first before giving up and he enjoys the independence and challenges, most of the time.
He is a true treasure to have when he comes.
His care is shared equally between his 2 other sisters and myself.
I have him for the fun months, Sept - Dec. I get all the good holidays :)
Oh, he can annoy me, just like my own children used to, when he gets stubborn or moves my things around and then I can't find something. He takes FOREVER to do anything and his morning slow and my lack of morning friendliness can clash when he must be pushed to make it out the door to catch the school bus. Or when he turns into a Drama Queen over things.
BIL makes me smile more than annoys me though and I love him and I love having him.

Testing the respite waters in my own way works for me.
Knowing respite is available eases my mind for a plan B.
I don't feel so trapped, if that's a good word to use.
Knowing Hubby has adjusted fairly well to his stay assures me he is in good hands.
Prayerfully turning it all over to God to deal with makes all the changes of the week easier to process.

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