This is dementia. It's not just a memory problem.
What you read in this blog is purely my own personal experience in dealing with Lewy Body Dementia every day.

This is not meant to offer any medical or legal advise.
I have no professional training in care giving or experiences in formal writing.
I'm just a woman that loves her husband deeply and wants to provide him with the best quality of life he can and chooses to have.
My prayer though this is "Lord, What am I learning from this; how can I use it help someone else and to glorify You?"
If just one person finds comfort in this public blog. I will feel like it was a success.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Scardy Kat

II Timothy 1:7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline

Statistically speaking respite care is  vitally important to the health and well being of the caregiver.

Respite care was scheduled for Hubby and I waited until a few days closer to tell him.
He took it well when I presented it as a week of observation and medication review;
Also an opportunity to have his pain in his back and neck cared for.
Hubby was pleased with this idea and was actually looking forward to it.
He thought about a way of escaping me from there.
He told me buses run and he would probably catch one to go into town if he wanted a day out.
I didn't disagree.

Then Hubby thought about it more and he became frightened and anxious.
Our household was filled with anxiety and suspicion.
Angry words and accusations flowed freely from Hubby.

I tried so many times to walk away, walk it off, run it out.
I wasn't always successful in keeping calm, cool and collected.
Some times the angry words spewed from my mouth while my head was screaming to shut up.
Apparently I don't listen very well or learn very quickly.

I NEED a break, my mind heart and body need a break. So I arranged one.
I fought many fears in doing that.
Fear that the new caretakers would not be willing to understand Lewy and medicate him.
Fear of losing more of Hubby to Lewy.
Fear that Lewy would convince others that what he was saying about me was true.
Fear that Hubby would not want to come home.

I coddled a spirit of fear, timidity.
My biggest fear without really being aware of it,
was thinking God couldn't take care of Hubby better than I could.
My faith was lacking.
For me, that was (is) a hard reality.

Sunday night Hubby was very upset.
To the point that he admitted to me that he was afraid.
He even decided he wasn't going to the Hosp.
I felt like respite time was crumbling around me but I remained calm.
I reminded him of all the reasons he wanted to go but agreed that if he chose not to go that would have to be okay and he could just stay here at the house with me.
Later in the evening our son came by.
Hubby beckoned Sonny Boy into the room and had him close the door behind him.
He asked Sonny Boy about going and Sonny Boy, bless his heart, was very kind and encouraging about his fathers stay in the hospital.
Hubby agreed he would go.

To add relief to the house tension, 6 yr old grandson offered his insight to Pappaw.
Sonny Boy and DIL agreed to run an errand for me. I offered them the use of my car and upon their return DIL handed me my keys.
Hubby, observing this exchange, grumpily exclaimed "I don't understand this! She lets you drive her car but she won't let me!" 
To which 6 yr old Grandson sincerely responds, "Well, That's because you're old." 
I had to hide and laugh as did Sonny Boy, and DIL, turned beet red! ROFLOL!!!! 
From the mouths of babes!!!

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