This is dementia. It's not just a memory problem.
What you read in this blog is purely my own personal experience in dealing with Lewy Body Dementia every day.

This is not meant to offer any medical or legal advise.
I have no professional training in care giving or experiences in formal writing.
I'm just a woman that loves her husband deeply and wants to provide him with the best quality of life he can and chooses to have.
My prayer though this is "Lord, What am I learning from this; how can I use it help someone else and to glorify You?"
If just one person finds comfort in this public blog. I will feel like it was a success.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Driveway Devotional

We have experienced some of the worst winter weather Arkansas has seen in a while. 12" of snow.
How can something so beautiful be disliked so much?

Armed with a flat end shovel, a heavy sweatshirt and jeans, sunglasses, gloves and monitor so I could hear Hubby if he needed me. I spent the last 2 days trying to shovel out 200+ feet of driveway. Wide enough of a path that I can get out of the driveway and Hubby's aide or anyone else can get in. I am very tired and sore.

As I was shoveling I took the time to look around at the beauty of the snow. The glistening as though diamond dust was scatter across the yard when the sun was shining on it. The big fluffy clouds passing by at a fairly quick pace. The warmth of the sun beating on my face and the sounds of the ice dripping and snow falling from crackling tree branches and the house eaves. Birds taking flight against a beautiful blue sky leaving behind a trail of the white powder floating off into the air to be evaporated or to find rest somewhere else.

Gods splendor.

Looking through the trees my eye captured a pine tree that had been weighted down by the heaviness of the snow given release from the weight as the sun melted just enough to give it a bounce back.

Shaking the powder from its branches and looking back up to the sky. A moment washed over me as I thought about those trees and the weight they bore.

Some trees branches were mighty and withstood the load of the snow with little to no effect.

Some tree branches and shrubbery were so burdened down by the load and laying in the driveway.
The tangled mess of prickly bushes have prevented one tree in particular to grow awkwardly and bear sparse leaves and branches. The poor tree has never had the opportunity to develop to it's full potential. I doubt it ever will be anything more than a weakling surrounded by prickly bushes.

Some branches are weak and bear no life in them. They are nothing to really look at but you can tell that at one time they were strong and mighty.

Others that are smaller and bare no life, succumbed to the weight and fell off.

The pine trees were my favorite to watch.
Even the tallest and more regal of the pines were not immune to the barrage of flakes. Some withstood quite well. Perhaps losing the weakest branches.

The smaller trees could do nothing but bow down. Some leaned to the side as in an effort to avoid all their branches from being covered. Some succeeded and have yet to straighten out completely. I wonder if they ever will without help.

Some just snapped giving up completely.

Others shouldered the snowfall and appeared to be burdened by the weight.
The wind was at first helping to keep some of the snow off of them but eventually it stopped blowing and the snow fell anyway. I wondered how long they could endure.

Standing there looking at the pine tree I thought how heavy that burden must feel. Many of the branches touching the ground. Then as if God spoke I watched this pine tree shake and then the snow fell off many of the branches. Those branches in their release from bondage stood erect and renewed. A tad dusty but strong and ready for the next round. I laughed when I saw this.

I was struck by the thought that in many ways we are like trees burdened by the weight of snow.
We have a great many burdens to bare. Some of us that have been around a while and have weathered many things still stand tall and regal.
We suffer a great many losses though our lifetime, we see much new life in it also. We have learned how to bend and sway and continue on until our time here is done.

Other trees with dead branches producing no foliage or fruit surrendered to the will of the Lord. For He knows the plans he has for us. Plans to give us a future and a hope. Making room for new productive growth in our lives.

Some of us surrounded by prickly bushes that hinder our growth and effectiveness. Never getting out of the situation mostly because we don't know any better and the prickly bushes have become our way of life. Complacent to do nothing.

Then the pines.

Some of us try to run and avoid the inevitable. Depending on others (the wind) to save us. Leaning away from Lord leaving us bent and deformed.

Some of us leaning so far that we give up and break.

Then there are those of us that keep standing as still and tall as we can. We say we shall not be moved.
We gather our friends (the wind) to help us with the burden. We are ever so grateful knowing we are loved. Yet still more snow falls on our lives and more until we find ourselves heavily burdened by it and we wonder, whatever shall we do, or why me or how much more can I bare? Then just when we think we shall never hold up under the weight and our knees (branches) have been touching the ground for some time, feeling lonely and cold and concerned, we surrender to the will of God.
It is then that God's love shines on us.
He melts the burden bit by bit to reveal the beauty of his creation. Renewing our strength so we too may shake the powder off and spring upright declaring His wonder and love.
Perhaps there is a branch removed from our lives, and He is using that space filling it with good things.

All I know is that there are days I feel like the burdened pine. I shall not be moved.  On Christ the solid Rock I stand.
I wonder why things happen but mostly I wonder what I am learning from my experience as a caregiver and how can I use it to help others and declare the love of my Lord and Savior?

So I enjoyed my driveway devotional. I love how God picks the most interesting times and things to talk with me about.

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